Today is the day.

I was driving away from school after dropping the kids off this morning and I got a glimpse at ‘my’ mountain, Mt Taranaki. It looks a bit like this photo I found, but from a lot further away (we live about 2 hours away). I love seeing my mountain, it never fails to make me smile.

I sent my wife a text that said #mountaingasm and she replied #thanksChloé and I felt bad because I had forgotten.

Yes, after thinking about nothing else for weeks, I had forgotten today is my baby girl’s birthday.

I told Emma I’d forgotten and then she felt bad that she’d reminded me (which was NOT what I wanted).

Then the radio started playing ‘Gold Digger’ and I laughed and had to stop on the side of the road to ring my wife because it’s one of her favourite songs. She thought it was hilarious.

Oh and Toyota rang this morning (at 8.15am!) to tell me that it’s NOT the gearbox, so yay, not $1000 we don’t have! It’s a leak that will take about an hour to fix, and $100.

AND the father of my kids transferred $15 into my account to pay for Miss11’s netball outing, which allowed me to put $10 petrol in the car so I can get the kids from school this afternoon. It’s pay day tomorrow and I’ll get the $15 for Miss11 on the way to school in the morning.

At this point I feel the need to thank my dead child…


Mount Taranaki (disclaimer: I did not take this particular photo)

So it’s 9 years today since I lost my little girl and as usual it’s bittersweet. I’m expecting tears at some point today but it’s ok if the tears don’t come.

Happy heavenly birthday baby girl.

Mummy loves you.


Chloé Isobel Rébecca


4 thoughts on “Today is the day.

  1. She is beautiful. You are strong. If I may suggest, we never forget, we never trivialize because time passes and we move forward- they give healing towards the spirit so that you can keep going. For her and her siblings. I am certain she is watching you all with joy in her heart and wishing joy into yours!

    Liked by 1 person

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