Moving on is not so easy when he’s still in your bed (Selina & Donovan part 7)

Apparently a few of my readers *waves* were surprised that Selina and Donovan gave in and had angry sex.

It had to happen… ICYMI here’s the angry sex


I hope he’ll fall asleep as quickly as he usually does so I can mourn the end of our friendship quietly in the dark.

I wake up early the next morning, dying for some water and painkillers as my head is killing me. I roll over carefully, not wanting to wake the man sleeping next to me.

Donovan is lying on his belly, face hidden in the pillow, and I take a moment to look at the tattoo covering half his back. It represents his parents and siblings; I went with him when he got it eight years ago. His mum wasn’t impressed with it at first because it’s huge but I know she likes it now.

I get out of bed and put some clothes on. I’ll have a shower after he’s gone,  don’t want to risk him joining me, which would lead to much badness.

I head to the kitchen and put the jug on, reflecting on the fact that I seem to be doing that a lot lately, yet I never seem to actually drink much of those hot drinks.

I check my phone and there’s a message from London saying she’ll come over later so we can take a taxi and go over to Lacey’s to get our cars. I reply even though she probably won’t see it for another couple of hours, it’s barely 8am on a Sunday morning.

I hear noises coming from my bedroom then footsteps approaching.

Please God, let him be fully dressed again…

Of course when Donovan enters the kitchen he’s busy doing up his pants, his t-shirt resting over his shoulder. It’s hard not to stare.

“Do you want a coffee before you head off?” I ask him, turning away from the half-naked man and busying myself with making my first cuppa of the day.

“Can we talk about this please?” he asks as he puts his t-shirt on.

“What is there to talk about? We had sex. It was amazing. It always is. I think we can both agree Naomi doesn’t need to know. Of course if you feel compelled to tell her, which, let’s face it, you probably will because you are a good person, feel free to blame me entirely. She already hates me, so a little bit more won’t make a difference.”

“I am not gonna blame you for something we both wanted!” he exclaims, and I shrug.

He sighs, hand ruffling his hair. I can tell this is hard on him but it’s hard on me too and I need to look after myself first.

“Yes, we both wanted it but as much as I don’t like your girlfriend, she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on. And I will not be the other woman. So this,” I wave at the space between the two of us, “cannot and will not happen again.”

He is about to say something when his phone starts ringing. The look on his face when he reads the caller ID tells me all I need to know.

“Time for you to do damage control. I’m going to have a shower. You can see yourself out.”

I don’t wait around, there is nothing left to say so I take my cup of tea with me and leave him in the kitchen.

My head is spinning when I get to the bathroom and I suddenly feel sick. I make myself lock the door so I don’t run back to the kitchen to plead with him to choose me instead of her.

That would be a stupid move and I have some dignity left. Taking the high road sure hurts like a biarch.

I feel like throwing up the few mouthful of tea I’ve drunk and in an attempt to delay the inevitable I take a few deep breaths, counting to ten in between each.

I hear a noise on the side of the door and I close my eyes, the damn tears starting again.

Please just go…

I turn the shower on, to hide my sobs and stop any attempts on his part to talk to me through the door. I hop in the shower and let the hot spray wash away my tears, though the pain in my chest is not going anywhere.

After the longest shower I’ve ever had, I get dressed in my comfy jeans and favourite top then I look through my wardrobe and drawers, trying to find an adequate replacement for that hoodie.

I hear the doorbell and a quick look at the time tells me it should be London. I walk to the front door with three different cardigans in my arms because I can’t decide on one.

“Hey,” I say after she comes in. “Which one?” I ask her, holding my options in outer layers.

“Gave that hoodie back, did you?” she says knowingly.

“Yes. Shut up. But now I have nothing to wear,” I reply, wondering why I’m still feeling so queasy. Yes I drank quite a lot last night but it wasn’t on an empty stomach so I shouldn’t still feel seedy.

“You want a cuppa? I never drank the one I made earlier.”

“Sure.”

I drop the cardigans on the top of the couch on the way to the kitchen and stop in my tracks when I spot something familiar on the table.

I can’t breathe, I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut and my legs are suddenly not holding me up.

“Didn’t you say you gave him the hoodie back?” London says as she too notices the items on the table.

I nod, hanging onto the wall for support before I collapse.

He brought the hoodie back and left it, nicely folded, in the middle of the table, his watch on top of it.

His watch I bought him for his birthday five years ago because he loved it so much and I knew it would make him happy.

Just when I felt I couldn’t hurt any more…

I feel like I’m going to pass out and it must show because London grabs hold of me and walks me to a chair.

I sit down, feeling dizzy, and reach out for the watch. I trace its face with my finger, wondering if the pain I’m feeling is ever going to go away.

I also wonder if maybe the look on his face when I dropped the box of things at his house the day before might mean he felt a similar kind of pain. Or maybe I’m just imagining it and it was merely surprise.

“Ok, you need to breathe before you pass out and you need to talk to me.”

I look up at London, who’s looking a bit worried.

“He was asleep on my couch when I got home last night and I went straight to my room to get ready for bed.”

“He still has his key then?”

“I guess so. Kinda slipped my mind.”

“What happened then?”

“We had another argument. He wanted to know why I wanted him out of my life. I reminded him his girlfriend hates me so it’s easier that way.”

“Ugh! Then what?”

“Then nothing.”

I can’t look at her so I focus on the watch I’m still holding.

“Bullshit! You had sex with him, didn’t you?”

“No…”

“Liar. You totally had angry sex with Donovan last night!”

“Maybe…”

“Ha! So what happened after you two had awesome angry sex? Didn’t he stay the night? Don’t tell me he sneaked out while you slept to go back to her.”

I sigh. “He stayed then this morning he wanted to talk about what had happened and I told him to blame it all on me.”

“Why would you say that?” London asks and I put the watch down.

“Because he’ll tell her he was here, possibly that we had sex, and she already hates me so…” I shrug. Made sense to me at the time.

“And what did he have to say to that?”

“I don’t know, his phone rang, it was her so I told him to see himself out and I locked myself in the bathroom.”

“Aww hun,” London says, reaching over to give my hand a squeeze.

I get out of my chair and walk over to the jug, glad my legs aren’t buckling under me.

“You still want a cuppa? I need peppermint tea, my tummy is all yuk,” I say as I fill the jug. “Oh, we better text Lacey before we head over, I really don’t want to walk in on her and Chris doing it.”

London laughs. “Oh my God, yes!”

I get the drinks ready and sit back down at the table, turning away from the side of the table Donovan’s stuff is on.

I know I should have some breakfast but the thought of food is really unappealing right now, and I’m hoping the peppermint tea will help settle my stomach.

I notice London keeps checking her phone and it makes me suspicious, which is a welcome distraction from my thoughts.

“What’s up lady? Am I that boring?” I joke and she blushes. How interesting… That just makes me even more suspicious.

“Nothing. Just checking something.”

“Something tall and British?”

London blushes even more and I know I’m right.

“We might be meeting later for brunch but I don’t want to jinx it so that’s all I’ll say.”

“Fair enough.” I understand where she’s coming from. I wouldn’t want to jinx it either so I don’t ask for more details, instead I tell her I’m excited for her and change the subject to Lacey and Chris.

We giggle, wondering if our hunch is right and he spent the night. So much for their planned date tomorrow!

I order us a taxi and we get on our way. Surprise, surprise, when we get there we find Chris’s car in the driveway.

I realise we forgot to text Lacey and London and I decide that rather than risking disturbing the lovebirds, we’ll just take our cars and get on our way.

We can catch up with Lacey later, and London needs to get ready for her date with her mystery man.

I decide to head over to my parents because I can’t face spending the afternoon alone at my house after last night.

When I get there my mum is in the lounge watching some chick flick.

“Hey Mum. Where’s Dad?” I ask her as I sit next to her on the couch.

“He’s gone out with Michael for a round of golf. You staying for dinner?”

I nod and pull the blanket from the top of the couch over me and cuddle up to Mum. She puts her arm around me and strokes my arm.

“Mum…” I start, my eyes on the screen.

“Yes?”

“Donovan came to my house last night and we had another argument.”

“Oh honey… I’m sorry.” She kisses the top of my head.

“Then he spent the night and this morning I told him to blame it on me when he inevitably told his girlfriend. God I hate her. I told him she didn’t deserve to be cheated on and I deserve better too.”

“And what did that silly boy say to that?” Mum asks. Seems she hasn’t stopped thinking Donovan and I are meant to be together…

“He didn’t get a chance, his phone rang, it was the skank so I left him in the kitchen and went to have a shower.” I’m not proud of the way I ran away but there was no way I was gonna stand there while he talked to her.

Mum sighs and hugs me tight. “He’ll realise soon enough that she’s not the one he really wants, honey. In the meantime, you look after yourself, okay? Are you staying for tea?”

“Yes please.”

With that settled, we resume watching the movie. I notice my phone vibrating on the coffee table, it’s still on silent, but I ignore it.

London is on her date, Lacey is probably still with Chris, I don’t want to talk to Donovan, my boss can fuck off and if it’s the stick insect, I really don’t want to hear it.

I am grateful Mum understands; she just hugs me and strokes my arm.

I decide against staying the night as I have to be at work really early the next day and my house is closer than theirs. Mum walks me to my car after dinner while Dad does the dishes.

“You’ll be okay, honey?”

I nod, somehow managing to keep the tears at bay. I know she’s right, and I know I made the right decision to cut all ties but fuck it hurts. Out of the blue I remember a very important fact I forgot to tell her.

“He left his watch on the table when he left this morning, Mum.” This time I can’t stop the tears and Mum wraps her arms around me, holding me tight. She knows how much Donovan loves that watch and what it means for him to leave it behind like that.

“I know it hurts right now, but I promise it gets better. Easier.” Mum sighs. “Maybe your dad needs to have a chat with him,” she adds and I giggle through my tears.

“Yeah, that’d go down well with the stick insect, I’m sure!”

“I don’t care about that girl’s feelings, and neither should you. Yes, you did the right thing telling Donovan she didn’t deserve to be cheated on, because nobody deserves that, but he needs to sort out what he really wants.”

“Thanks Mum but I think he already has.” I kiss her cheek and we let go of each other. She reminds me to take good care of myself as I head home.

*Part 8, Unwanted Attention is here*

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Moving on is not so easy when he’s still in your bed (Selina & Donovan part 7)

  1. Pingback: Unwanted Attention (Selina & Donovan part 8) | DragonflyLady's Writey Ramblings

  2. Pingback: Being bad never felt so good (Selina & Donovan part 6) | DragonflyLady's Writey Ramblings

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s