Some things are not best left unsaid (Selina & Donovan part 13)

** TRIGGER WARNING **

Yes, another one… (I think it’s the last one though)

Since in this chapter the surgeon who saved Selina’s life talks to her about what happened, it requires a trigger warning.

Things are going to get better from now on for Selina and Donovan, I promise, but they won’t forget.


The nurse checks my stats and tops up my painkillers. She also tells me the doctor should be over soon to check on me and talk to me about how the operation went and when I can go home.

My dad and Donovan come back shortly after she leaves, with a bag full of delicious looking sandwiches and I wish I had any sort of appetite.

Instead I nibble on bits of bread and some chicken while the others eat their dinner. I sneak a mouthful of Donovan’s Coke and do my best to ignore the elephant in the room, but at the same time wondering how long until the stick insect rings Donovan demanding he comes home.

Donovan is sitting on the end of my bed and my parents on the chairs by the window. I am loving the view, after a week of not seeing him.

“I know it’s probably not the best time to ask,” Dad says from his seat next to Mum and I get a bad feeling in my stomach. “But what’s that I hear about a fight you girls got into with that girl Donovan was seeing?” Continue reading

Mending some fences (Selina & Donovan part 12)

**TRIGGER WARNING**

Dear readers, like the one before it, this chapter deals with the sensitive issue of baby loss.

It’s a topic I have personal painful experience with (if you feel up to it, here is my post from last year about it, keep tissues handy) and when I realised this was where Selina and Donovan’s story was headed, I didn’t shy away from it.

Pregnancy and baby loss happen, and they happen a lot more often than people think. Once you start talking about it, people will tell you that it’s either happened to them or to someone close to them.

In this chapter, Selina wakes up after surgery following her ectopic pregnancy.


I wake up to the delicious familiar smell of the man I love, his hand gently stroking my arm. I keep my eyes closed because I can’t conceive of a reason why he’d be here. I must be dreaming and I don’t want the dream to end.

I hear the door open and footsteps approach the bed.

“Is she awake yet?” Mum’s voice. She sounds worried still and like she’s been crying. Her voice is all hushed in the quiet room.

“Um… I don’t know…” I feel my heart skip a beat when I realise that Donovan really is here. His voice sounds as rough as Mum’s. “I thought she was before, when she rolled over.” He sighs. “I should go. She’ll get upset if she finds me here when she wakes up and that’s the last thing I want .” Continue reading

This hole in my heart (Selina & Donovan part 11)

**TRIGGER WARNING**

Dear readers, this particular chapter deals with the sensitive issue of baby loss.

It’s a topic I have personal painful experience with (if you feel up to it, here is my post from last year about it, keep tissues handy) and when I realised this was where Selina and Donovan’s story was headed, I didn’t shy away from it.

Pregnancy and baby loss happen, and they happen a lot more often than people think. Once you start talking about it, people will tell you that it’s either happened to them or to someone close to them.

Last week our children asked about rainbow babies and I did a post about it on Facebook. Two friends left comments saying they’d lost a child many years ago. It’s ten years for me next month.

Losing a child is not something you ever forget. You just learn to live with the grief.

Just like Selina and Donovan are going to learn to do (and yes, you can count on the happy ending!)


I wash my hands and my face and rinse my mouth for the third time and take a deep breath before I open the door. My friend looks very worried about me and I can’t blame her. I’m worried about me.

“You ok?” she asks again and I shrug. I don’t know if I am but I know that eventually, I will be.

She puts her arm around my waist and we walk back into the restaurant. There is no sign of the bitchy blondes, some good looking bald guy is standing next to London by our table and I feel like everyone in the restaurant is looking at me. I turn to Lace.

“Where’s Chris?”

“Oh,” she says as we reached our table. “He is making sure Naomi is really gone.”

“Thank god. What happened out here? I heard a lot of screaming.”

“Don’t worry about that,” London tells me with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I could sleep for a week and still be tired. I’m sorry for ruining lunch. I think I’m just going to go see Mum now.”
Continue reading

Catching up & getting caught (Selina and Donovan part 10)

I hope you enjoyed the little Christmas flashback sex because things are going to get worse from here on… But there will be a happy ending, I promise!


A fierce urge to vomit interrupts my brain’s trip down memory lane and I make it to the kitchen with seconds to spare. I hear my phone ring, it’ll be Mum no doubt, but I’m too busy emptying the meagre contents of my stomach onto the small pile of dirty dishes in the sink to consider answering.

Later, after a shower and what feels like my five hundredth cup of peppermint tea that week, I ring Mum back. I promise her that I will go see the doctor on Monday and that I will come see her after lunch with the girls tomorrow. I also tell her I’m off to bed shortly to get a good night sleep

It’s a lie, of course, because while I am going to bed soon I know sleep will be elusive. I’ve had cramps all day, expecting that time of the month to arrive with a bang, and the constant nausea and vomiting aren’t helping. I don’t tell Mum of course, she’s worried enough as it is. Continue reading