Maddie has some cheering up to do…
Emily is feeling rather sorry for herself since reading the emails and it’s up to Maddie to get her out of her funk…
“I am sorry.”
The cursor blinked at Emily as she stared at the screen. Sighing, she sat up then stretched before closing the laptop. She reached for her cup of tea but one sip was enough as it had gone cold while she was trying to find the words.
With a frustrated groan she got up and went to the kitchen in search of food. She was starving and did a double take when she saw the time on the microwave clock. How could it possibly be seven o’clock already? She’d got home from work around five and sat down to work on a proper reply to Richie’s emails. She checked her phone but sure enough it told her the same time. She also noticed she had three text messages from Maddie and one missed call.
Emily was in the process of typing a reply to Maddie when the phone rang and it was Maddie.
“Hey,” Emily said, her voice sounding tired even to her own ears.
“Hey you. Have you eaten yet?”
“No. I’ve been… God, Maddie, I’ve been trying find the words and I just…” Emily felt the tears threaten again for what felt like the millionth time since Saturday. “I can’t. It’s too late.”
“Oh shush. It’s never too late. Just checking you’re home before I show up with Chinese food.”
“How far are you?”
Emily heard movement on the other end of the phone then a child’s voice, followed by Maddie’s voice saying she’d see ‘them’ tomorrow. Puzzled, Emily waited for Maddie to get back on the line.
“Hey, I’m back, sorry about that. I’m about ten minutes away, depending on traffic. Do you want me to pick up something to drink on the way?”
Emily had a quick look in her fridge before answering. “Nah, I’ve got beer and coke. Unless you want something different then yes.”
“Okay, see you soon.” Maddie hung up and Emily was left wondering what was going on. It wasn’t like Maddie to show up on a Monday night with takeaways. Who had she been talking to? Where was she seeing that mysterious person tomorrow? And who was that child Emily had heard on the phone?
“Ugh, this is pointless!” Emily said out loud in her empty kitchen.
She took two forks out of the cutlery drawer, got herself a beer out of the fridge and stalked back to the couch. She picked up her laptop and put it on the shelf under the coffee table before reclining on the couch, feet on the coffee table, beer in hand, and turned the tv on.
A quick flicking through the channels proved there was nothing on, as usual, so she settled on the music channel and tried to stop her brain from going where she knew it wanted to go. She sighed. Another pointless thing. It seemed like every minute of every day since the book launch all she could do was think about Richie, and how good things were before she fucked it all up. She’d done a lot of thinking since she’d read the emails and she knew that Maddie had been right all along, about everything. That bitch. Emily groaned, hoping Maddie wouldn’t look too smug when she dished her enormous serving of ‘I told you so!’ later. Emily knew she deserved every bit of what was coming her way, just as much as she deserved to live with the gut wrenching knowledge that she had killed the one healthy romantic relationship she’d ever had.
She’d run out of ‘what if…’ early on Sunday morning then the dreams had started. And the daydreams every time she stopped concentrating on what she was doing. Vivid recollections, every single time. His mouth on hers, on her nipple, his tongue tracing a tortuous path down her body until he reached her clit, his fingers ever so slowly pressing inside her, rubbing that spot inside that felt so good… Then his hard cock entering her, causing her to hold her breath with that first thrust, until he was sheathed all the way inside her, hitting her a spot with every stroke, taking her higher and higher, until she reached her peak.
She’d lost count of the number of times she’d woken up in the middle of an orgasm in the middle of the night. She’d even started masturbating every night before going to sleep, in the hope it would stop the dreams. Nothing stopped the dreams. She figured that maybe if she replied to his email and got that closure she’d denied the both of them, the dreams might finally go away.
One could live in hope. Only this one didn’t want the dreams to stop. This one wanted to find the words to say sorry for fucking things up so royally. This one wanted her man back. This one hoped there was a way to get him back.Emily got up to get herself another drink when she heard the front door open.
“Beer or Coke?” she called out to Maddie as she walked towards the kitchen. “I’ve got forks in the lounge.”
“Coke, please, I’m driving,” came the reply.
Emily berated herself for asking, feeling like a dumbass, yet again. Of course Maddie was driving, she had to go home later.
She came back from the kitchen to find Maddie sitting on the couch, the two containers of Chinese food already open, forks at the ready. She handed Maddie the can of Coke she’d got for her before sitting next to her friend on the couch.
Emily picked up her container of food then turned to her friend. “Thanks, Mads. You’re the best.” She rested her head on her friend’s shoulder for a minute.
“You okay, sweetie?” Maddie asked, picking up Emily’s food and putting it back on the coffee table next to hers, then she put her arm around Emily’s shoulders.
“No.” Emily was trying not to cry again; she felt she’d cried enough to last a lifetime, but the tears came anyway. “I miss him so much, Maddie, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix things. I fucked up so bad. I don’t know why it took me so long to realise I was a complete asshole. You read the emails, I hurt him so much, I know that saying ‘I’m sorry’ is not going to be enough. How could it be after what I did?”
“Aw honey. If I remember correctly, the last email said he wasn’t over you so you see, it’s not too late. You just need to reach out and talk to him,” Maddie said and Emily wished she had her confidence.
“What would I say to him? I’m sorry I ran away because I was scared I’d turn into my parents if we got married? My parents were assholes who loved their career more than they ever loved me and knowing how much love my job, I’m terrified I might be like them if I have a child? Seeing him again last week just made things so much worse. I can’t sleep because I keep having sex dreams about him–”
“Sex dreams? Sounds fun.” Maddie interrupted and Emily looked up at her best friend. She was doing that face she did when she was plotting something. It was a look Emily had seen a few times over the years.
“Okay, lady, what are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding anything. Just saying.”
“Bitch, please. Sex dreams aren’t fun. They’re… frustrating… and… hornifying and oh my god, do you know how confusing it is to be woken up by your body because you’re in the middle of an orgasm?”
“Yeah.” Emily closed her eyes and felt the hopelessness rise again.
“You know what you need to do now, don’t you?” Maddie asked softly.
“Never sleep again?” Emily suggested with a derisive laugh.
Maddie sat up and Emily followed, surprised when Maddie put both hands on her shoulders and looked straight at her.
“You need to go see Richie and talk to him. Tell him about your parents. Tell him you are sorry you ran away like a coward. Tell him you love him and beg him for another chance, though I don’t think you’ll have to do much begging.”
“OH. MY. GOD. MADISON IMOGEN DEIRDRE MARIE O’SHEA!” Emily exclaimed, moving back a little so she could take a good look at her best friend, who was doing the face again.
“That’s my name,” Maddie replied, the look of innocence on her face not fooling Emily in the least.
“You’ve seen him, haven’t you? You’ve talked to him. And I don’t mean a year ago.”
“What if I have? I made a promise, remember?” Maddie grinned and Emily narrowed her eyes at her. She wanted to wipe the smirk off her friend’s face but she’d lost all her oompf.
“You win. Keep your promise and your secrets. It doesn’t matter.” Emily sighed and leaned against the back of the couch. “I tried to reply to him, couldn’t get past ‘I’m sorry’ and that’s not enough.”
She knew the first step had to come from her, because she had been the one to do the running and because he had clearly closed the door on them after that last email. She closed her eyes and wondered what Richie would do if she just showed up at his house and apologised. Not that she knew where he lived.
“Let me know when you’re done feeling sorry for yourself.” Maddie’s tone cut through Emily’s defeated train of thought. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough moping?”