When technology fucks you over

We moved house last week (on the Saturday).

So I saved my open documents (on OpenOffice) and then I shut down my computer. We didn’t have the internet until Wednesday, I didn’t turn my laptop back on until Thursday morning, because we were busy with other things.

Tonight I decided to open the document that has chapter 3 of the story of Wade and Celia.

I was faced with 8 pages of ####################.

The file is corrupted because, according to the internet after I googled my issue when I tried to open the file, I didn’t wait 10 minutes for OpenOffice to do its thing before I shut down my laptop.

I’ve lost a whole chapter because I’d taken it down from GoogleDocs and not backed it up on anything (or sent the file to my wife).

FML

Sad anniversary + update

Ten years is a long time.

And yet, sometimes, it feels like it was just yesterday that I lost my baby girl.

While she was actually born on 17th August, the 16th is often the worst day for me.

It happened that way this year. The sun shining helped with my atrocious mood, as did having lunch with my wife. ❤

A very dear friend came over this afternoon and gave me this wonderful, beautiful, thoughtful present she made.

dragonfly flower

I am working on the last chapter of Selina and Donovan’s story, slowly, as the last few chapters were rather draining. I’m also 4500 words into something new, a collaboration of sorts with my wife on a thing she’s writing (she’s writing about one character and I’ve started writing about another one from the same story). It’s very exciting.

Getting there

I am working on part 9 of Selina and Donovan’s story, I promise!

But at the moment life is getting in the way. Next week is the last week of term for me, my wife is in the middle of exam week and it’s rather stressful.

And you know, I’ll sit down to write down drunken sex and the 9yo will sit at the laptop next to mine…

Add to that we need to find another place to live as the people who own our house are putting it on the market. Finding a rental when you have 4 kids and a bunch of pets is mission impossible.

Part 9 is on the way, it’s a flashback to when it all started, then we’re back on track to the big showdown with the stick insect. ^_^

Labels are for jars, not people.

Right?

I mean, some people like labels. They need labels. Want them. And I don’t mean labels on clothes, because that’s a whole other thing.

I have a couple of friends who have changed the labels they identify with in the last couple of years and good on them. They’re happier now and I’m happy for them.

But me? I struggle to put a clear-cut label on my sexuality.

Yes, I am married to a woman.

Yes, I love her and I feel attracted to her.

But I am not attracted to women in general, just this one I fell in love with.

Like I told a now former friend after my wife and I got together and he was all ‘hahaha you like girls!!’ (at the time, he was very supportive and the first person we told about us), I don’t like girls, I am in love with one. And I don’t feel the lesbian label fits me.

I am however attracted to men. I write about sex with men. I fantasize about a couple of rugby players I really like the look of (and yes, my wife is fine with that, she does the same thing).

Does that make me straight?

Do the combined facts that I’m with a woman and attracted to men make me bisexual? What about the fact that my wife is the only woman I feel any attraction to?

I understand lesbian as ‘person who identifies as female, attracted to other females’ and bisexual as ‘a person attracted to both genders’.

My cousin called me Emma-sexual and it made me giggle. She may have a point.

I happened to fall in love with my best friend (and by some stroke of luck she fell in love with me too) and she just happened to be a woman.

I think you fall in love with a person not because of the parts between their legs, but because of the person you see shining through.

Not sure where this post is going, to be honest. I got sent a quiz by an organisation I follow and questions 1, 2 and 3 were age bracket, country you live in and what gender you identify with. Easy.

Then I got to question 4 and I felt like a failure because I don’t have an answer.

fail

Blah.

Quick Update

*waves*

It’s the end of the term next week and I have 2 big assignments to write so sadly the writing (while still happening)  is getting less time.
BUT! I got Google Docs on my phone so I can write on my lunchbreak. Maybe. Or yanno, late at night when I can’t sleep like last week.
Things are happening in the Valentine’s Day story and the Drunken Calling story as well.
^_^