Monday Suckday **Rant warning**

Last week Miss11 went on a school camp with her class and another one. I picked her up when the bus got back on Friday around 4pm (broke the screen of my phone, but that’s another story, very boring).

On the way home she told me about how her ‘friends’ A and M were absolute little bitches, again. Pestering her to know why she looked sad and threatening to tell the teacher she was not liking camp if she didn’t tell them. She even asked me to talk to the teacher about it.

Last night after dinner I took my kids to their dad’s for the week. Once the usual chit chat was over, the father of my kids went back to the lounge while Miss11 and I had another hug.

Miss11 asked me to talk to him about the friends issue. I told her it was a whole conversation that I didn’t have time for right then (I need to go get dinner and get home to my anxious wife) but that I would talk to him about, at another time. She started bawling and I hugged her closer then when her father finally came down the hallway, asking what was wrong.

I told him the short version and he said, ‘Oh we’ve had that problem with M before, haven’t we?’

Well that was the first I head about that. I love how he shares important stuff with me. #onlynot

He told her to come into the lounge with him so they could talk about it and headed back down the hallway. I gave my baby girl another hug (or 10…) and reminded her that I’m only a text/call/whatsapp message away and that I’ve got her back, and I left.

I’m worried about her.

Last week in the car she told me that A and M keep taking pics of her in the morning before school and using them with that Face in the Hole app. And A told her ‘we know how to control you’. And that one time she was at A’s house (or M’s house) and feeling a bit glum, A (or M) asked her mum what was wrong with Miss11 and the mum replied ‘oh, she’s just trying to be cool.’

EXCUSE ME?

I know my daughter, she’s not trying to be cool in a bid to impress anyone, she’s just trying to be herself and it seems that her so-called friends make fun of her for it.

It took me back about 3 years ago when she went to a sleepover to her then BFF’s house and  said BFF and another girl made fun of her because she didn’t want to wear make up.

It’s hard enough to be an almost teenager who looks older than she is, because she got hit by the puberty stick, without having to deal with little judgemental bitches who think it’s cool to make fun of other people.

All I want to do is go to school and hug my baby girl and protect her from those girls who are not her friends.

Friends don’t make friends feel horrible about themselves. Friends don’t make fun of friends in a way that hurts their feelings.

It’s nearly the end of the school year, A and M are the two girls in her class she knew from her primary school. She has another friend, R, who was at the same primary school, but R is in a different class and they don’t see each other much during the week.

Miss11 has been almost friends with a couple of other girls in her class but it never blossomed into a proper friendship.

She used to be friends with E, who apparently, along with a group of girls, made fun of her at a party. Now, Miss11 wasn’t at that party, but M was. Now I’m wondering if it’s all made up.

Girls can be such little bitches…

I have mum guilt.

 

On Sunday night after dinner I took my children to their dad’s house as he’s having them this week. It’s the new schedule we agreed on (long story I won’t get into).

I stood on the front porch and watched my kids hug their dad they hadn’t seen in a week and we all had a little chat before I got hugs from my babies and went home.

At one point the conversation went like this:

Ex: ‘Aidan, I have a meeting on Tuesday so I can’t take you to your ukulele lesson.’

Aidan, looking at his dad: ‘Maybe Mum could take me?’

Ex: ‘Well, honey, it may just be that when you’re with me and I have a meeting you have to miss out on ukulele.’

Aidan tried to say something else but he got shut down. At no point did the father of my children make eye contact with me. I said nothing, it wasn’t my conversation. I hugged my kids and left.

This morning, I dropped the girls at school and went to find Aidan for a cuddle (I had a bad dream last night, someone made him cry and I woke up needing to hug my little boy).

He asked me if I was taking him to ukulele. I said, ‘No, because dad didn’t ask me to, I’m sorry.’

Now I have guilt.

Mum guilt.

Yes, I want to do what is best for my child but I am done being a doormat for a man who still believes I need a caregiver.

Yes, it’s my child who is suffering in this situation but his father had the perfect opening to ask me to take Aidan to ukulele on Sunday night and he chose NOT to take it. All he had to do was ask and I would have said yes.

But he can’t do that. Because reasons I am not privy to and I won’t pretend to know.

All I know is that he didn’t ask me when he had a chance. He will probably suddenly think to ask when I go to school at 3pm to get the kids but that is way too late. Apparently I don’t deserve the same courtesy than other people.

Now Aidan is sad because he will be missing out on something he loves (just like last year he missed out on soccer practices because his father has a meeting on Tuesday after school and couldn’t be bothered trying to work something out) and I feel horrible.

But I am done offering when he should be asking.