That writing bug is catching

Miss Nearly 12 has started writing a story.

She’s writing it on WattPad. She wrote a whole page on her phone and was so proud of herself for the 80 something words until she looked at her chapter on the laptop and went, ‘Oh…’

So yesterday she sat at the table and typed. And typed. And typed.

700+ words later, she has a decent chapter, a hook at the end and the beginnings of a story.

I am very proud of her efforts and I can’t wait to read more of the story.

Here is it, if you want to read it.

Lara Evers and Beck Matthews have been enemies for as long as they can remember. But what will happen when Lara finds out Beck’s biggest secret?

Evers vs Matthews ch1



My mum arrived today. Hadn’t seen her in two years. She’s here until the end of January.

We took the kids out of school at lunchtime and drove an hour to pick her up from the airport.

On Thursday she goes to the Coromandel with my kids and my ex husband.

On Saturday my wife, her daughters and I fly to Christchurch to spend Christmas with her parents.

I’ve been writing, started a new story, once again.

Maybe one day I’ll finish one of them…

Monday Suckday **Rant warning**

Last week Miss11 went on a school camp with her class and another one. I picked her up when the bus got back on Friday around 4pm (broke the screen of my phone, but that’s another story, very boring).

On the way home she told me about how her ‘friends’ A and M were absolute little bitches, again. Pestering her to know why she looked sad and threatening to tell the teacher she was not liking camp if she didn’t tell them. She even asked me to talk to the teacher about it.

Last night after dinner I took my kids to their dad’s for the week. Once the usual chit chat was over, the father of my kids went back to the lounge while Miss11 and I had another hug.

Miss11 asked me to talk to him about the friends issue. I told her it was a whole conversation that I didn’t have time for right then (I need to go get dinner and get home to my anxious wife) but that I would talk to him about, at another time. She started bawling and I hugged her closer then when her father finally came down the hallway, asking what was wrong.

I told him the short version and he said, ‘Oh we’ve had that problem with M before, haven’t we?’

Well that was the first I head about that. I love how he shares important stuff with me. #onlynot

He told her to come into the lounge with him so they could talk about it and headed back down the hallway. I gave my baby girl another hug (or 10…) and reminded her that I’m only a text/call/whatsapp message away and that I’ve got her back, and I left.

I’m worried about her.

Last week in the car she told me that A and M keep taking pics of her in the morning before school and using them with that Face in the Hole app. And A told her ‘we know how to control you’. And that one time she was at A’s house (or M’s house) and feeling a bit glum, A (or M) asked her mum what was wrong with Miss11 and the mum replied ‘oh, she’s just trying to be cool.’


I know my daughter, she’s not trying to be cool in a bid to impress anyone, she’s just trying to be herself and it seems that her so-called friends make fun of her for it.

It took me back about 3 years ago when she went to a sleepover to her then BFF’s house and  said BFF and another girl made fun of her because she didn’t want to wear make up.

It’s hard enough to be an almost teenager who looks older than she is, because she got hit by the puberty stick, without having to deal with little judgemental bitches who think it’s cool to make fun of other people.

All I want to do is go to school and hug my baby girl and protect her from those girls who are not her friends.

Friends don’t make friends feel horrible about themselves. Friends don’t make fun of friends in a way that hurts their feelings.

It’s nearly the end of the school year, A and M are the two girls in her class she knew from her primary school. She has another friend, R, who was at the same primary school, but R is in a different class and they don’t see each other much during the week.

Miss11 has been almost friends with a couple of other girls in her class but it never blossomed into a proper friendship.

She used to be friends with E, who apparently, along with a group of girls, made fun of her at a party. Now, Miss11 wasn’t at that party, but M was. Now I’m wondering if it’s all made up.

Girls can be such little bitches…


Good news, I’m writing.
Not-so-good news, it’s not any of my stories, it’s a NEW thing. Again. *sigh*
The kids are on holidays for 2 weeks in 2 days, and it’s my birthday on Monday.
My wife’s sister left yesterday, with her 4yo, after spending a week with us. And a friend of mine from France arrived yesterday for a bit.

I’ve been in NZ 14 years and she’s the first person NOT from my family to visit…

It’s supposed to be spring but it’s cold and extremely windy and wet.

I started a shrug for my stepmum who turns 60 tomorrow, with wool I got with birthday money. It will be a bit late but I’m ok with that.


I’m still working on that post about baby loss I started. It went in a different direction than originally planned and I’m stuck.
It’s like my brain wants me to write it but doesn’t at the same time.
And since my brain is stuck on that particular post, I can’t write anything else.

We had a lovely weekend away with the kids, did a lot of stuff, got a pic with a hot rugby player after the game we went to on Saturday, had baby cuddles on Sunday at a friend’s house. Now back to real life.

I miss my kids already. I took them to their dad’s on Sunday night. Mr7 was being weird in the car and when I asked him what was wrong he said he was sad because he wanted to keep the nail polish on his nails (bright red — all the kids did their nails at our friend’s house on Sunday, except Miss11 because her school doesn’t allow nail polish) but he knew Dad would yell at him until he took it off and he wanted to keep it on as long as he could but then his friend Max would tease him at school.

I told him that next time he’s home for the weekend, we can do his nails after school on Friday and he can keep it on ALL weekend. I suggested i could buy purple (fave colour) but he said he likes that red.


Still pisses me off that a man who wears a PINK shirt to work (not salmon, actual pink) has an issue with his son liking purple and wanting to wear purple.

Taking Mr7 to ukulele tonight so the mum guilt can STFU and I’m doing it for him, so he doesn’t miss out on something he loves, NOT to help out his father who doesn’t care.

I have mum guilt.


On Sunday night after dinner I took my children to their dad’s house as he’s having them this week. It’s the new schedule we agreed on (long story I won’t get into).

I stood on the front porch and watched my kids hug their dad they hadn’t seen in a week and we all had a little chat before I got hugs from my babies and went home.

At one point the conversation went like this:

Ex: ‘Aidan, I have a meeting on Tuesday so I can’t take you to your ukulele lesson.’

Aidan, looking at his dad: ‘Maybe Mum could take me?’

Ex: ‘Well, honey, it may just be that when you’re with me and I have a meeting you have to miss out on ukulele.’

Aidan tried to say something else but he got shut down. At no point did the father of my children make eye contact with me. I said nothing, it wasn’t my conversation. I hugged my kids and left.

This morning, I dropped the girls at school and went to find Aidan for a cuddle (I had a bad dream last night, someone made him cry and I woke up needing to hug my little boy).

He asked me if I was taking him to ukulele. I said, ‘No, because dad didn’t ask me to, I’m sorry.’

Now I have guilt.

Mum guilt.

Yes, I want to do what is best for my child but I am done being a doormat for a man who still believes I need a caregiver.

Yes, it’s my child who is suffering in this situation but his father had the perfect opening to ask me to take Aidan to ukulele on Sunday night and he chose NOT to take it. All he had to do was ask and I would have said yes.

But he can’t do that. Because reasons I am not privy to and I won’t pretend to know.

All I know is that he didn’t ask me when he had a chance. He will probably suddenly think to ask when I go to school at 3pm to get the kids but that is way too late. Apparently I don’t deserve the same courtesy than other people.

Now Aidan is sad because he will be missing out on something he loves (just like last year he missed out on soccer practices because his father has a meeting on Tuesday after school and couldn’t be bothered trying to work something out) and I feel horrible.

But I am done offering when he should be asking.

School holidays.

It’s the first week of the school holidays (winter break, 2 weeks) and we have all 4 kids home this week.
We went to a friend’s house on Monday afternoon.

Miss8 spent most of Tuesday with her best friend and we took the other 3 shopping (and to get Mr7 and Miss5 well needed haircuts).

On Wednesday we took all 4 of them to Knitting Group then we had hot chips by the beach before going home to watch the All Blacks. That night I took the younger 3 to the free movie at the library, my wife and Miss11 stayed home. The movie they showed was Big Hero 6, which Mr7 has watched a bunch of times already so he wasn’t overly interested.

Today we took them to do finger puppets at the library and they stayed out of the way this afternoon while we watched Hawke’s Bay v Wairarapa Bush. I don’t talk about rugby much on my blog but we love love love watching rugby. ^_^

On Monday my kids are going to their father’s for a week. I don’t think he’s talking to me right now, which is fine, I don’t need to talk to him. I think he didn’t like the fact that I stood my ground on an issue last week, instead of just agreeing to what he wanted.

I’ve been feeling the pull to write more for 2 days but haven’t had a chance to actually do it. We’ve been binge watching season 1 of Empire, which hasn’t helped.

I feel exhausted. But at least I’m not sick (Miss5, Mr7 and my wife are coughing a lot at the moment).

I hope I didn’t just jinx it.