I suck at blogging

Once again it’s been months since I posted something I wrote.

Sure, I reblogged a couple of posts I deemed important but nothing I wrote since the last chapter of Selina and Donovan.

Art school has been taking all my brain power this year. Here is my ‘Like Wallpaper’ painting, each panel is 180cm high and 60cm wide. The silhouettes are  my kids in various poses. ^_^

This semester is worse than the first one and I find that I am not enjoying it much. Art history is a very demanding class, brain-draining speaking. We’re also experimenting with drawing machines in art lab, so I’ve been taping felt pens to a hand mixer and doing marks on paper, also, shooting my son’s NERF guns with ink on the darts…

I have still found little bits of time here and there to write, mainly a new story I’ve been working on, with a couple who just had a baby. They are getting ready for a big move and Kayla has yet to tell her mother… This little bit is rather self-explanatory…

***

After checking on Maya who, for once, was out to it in her bassinet Kayla went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She left her mug on the bench when she heard a knock on the door.

She weaved her way through the boxes of assorted kitchen stuff and other possessions they would not be taking with them and made it to the front door as whoever was on the other side knocked impatiently again.

“I’m here,” she said as she opened the door. “Please stop knocking or you’ll wa–Mum!” She felt quite a shock when she realised just who the impatient person was.

“Well? Aren’t you going to let me in?” her mother, Ruth, fired at her before she pushed past Kayla and walked into the house.

Kayla closed the front door and took a deep breath then followed the woman she hadn’t seen in a couple of months. She caught up to her mother in the lounge.

“Would you like a hot drink, Mum?” she asked as she kept walking to the kitchen. She knew from experience they would be having heated words, and she needed to gather her composure.

“Coffee, black, no sugar.”

Like your soul, then…

“Why don’t you come sit down in the kitchen?” Kayla called out, silently adding, while we still have a table and chairs.

Ruth walked in, her eyes moving from box to box, before taking a seat at the table.

Kayla put her mother’s coffee in front of her then sat down with her tea. She didn’t bother getting biscuits out, the last thing she needed was her mother telling her she needed to lose weight, not eat junk food.

She thanked her lucky stars that by some miracle Maya was still asleep and took a sip of her tea to give herself more time to come up with a reason not to have told her about the move yet, other than “you’re bitter and bitchy and you hate my baby daddy and you don’t even know him”.
“So, Mum… How are you? Haven’t you seen you in ages! Keeping busy?”

“Not as busy as you, clearly! What’s the meaning of all this?” Ruth gestured at the chaos. “Please tell me you finally realised he’s no good for you and you’re moving out. If you ask nicely I might let you stay at my house with your bastard child.”

***

I better get back to my art history timeline because it’s due tomorrow and she wants 4 entries per era (invention/event, design work, fashion garment, art work), from 800 BC to 300 AD and it’s HARD!

 

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When technology fucks you over

We moved house last week (on the Saturday).

So I saved my open documents (on OpenOffice) and then I shut down my computer. We didn’t have the internet until Wednesday, I didn’t turn my laptop back on until Thursday morning, because we were busy with other things.

Tonight I decided to open the document that has chapter 3 of the story of Wade and Celia.

I was faced with 8 pages of ####################.

The file is corrupted because, according to the internet after I googled my issue when I tried to open the file, I didn’t wait 10 minutes for OpenOffice to do its thing before I shut down my laptop.

I’ve lost a whole chapter because I’d taken it down from GoogleDocs and not backed it up on anything (or sent the file to my wife).

FML

Sad anniversary + update

Ten years is a long time.

And yet, sometimes, it feels like it was just yesterday that I lost my baby girl.

While she was actually born on 17th August, the 16th is often the worst day for me.

It happened that way this year. The sun shining helped with my atrocious mood, as did having lunch with my wife. ❤

A very dear friend came over this afternoon and gave me this wonderful, beautiful, thoughtful present she made.

dragonfly flower

I am working on the last chapter of Selina and Donovan’s story, slowly, as the last few chapters were rather draining. I’m also 4500 words into something new, a collaboration of sorts with my wife on a thing she’s writing (she’s writing about one character and I’ve started writing about another one from the same story). It’s very exciting.

Getting there

I am working on part 9 of Selina and Donovan’s story, I promise!

But at the moment life is getting in the way. Next week is the last week of term for me, my wife is in the middle of exam week and it’s rather stressful.

And you know, I’ll sit down to write down drunken sex and the 9yo will sit at the laptop next to mine…

Add to that we need to find another place to live as the people who own our house are putting it on the market. Finding a rental when you have 4 kids and a bunch of pets is mission impossible.

Part 9 is on the way, it’s a flashback to when it all started, then we’re back on track to the big showdown with the stick insect. ^_^

Labels are for jars, not people.

Right?

I mean, some people like labels. They need labels. Want them. And I don’t mean labels on clothes, because that’s a whole other thing.

I have a couple of friends who have changed the labels they identify with in the last couple of years and good on them. They’re happier now and I’m happy for them.

But me? I struggle to put a clear-cut label on my sexuality.

Yes, I am married to a woman.

Yes, I love her and I feel attracted to her.

But I am not attracted to women in general, just this one I fell in love with.

Like I told a now former friend after my wife and I got together and he was all ‘hahaha you like girls!!’ (at the time, he was very supportive and the first person we told about us), I don’t like girls, I am in love with one. And I don’t feel the lesbian label fits me.

I am however attracted to men. I write about sex with men. I fantasize about a couple of rugby players I really like the look of (and yes, my wife is fine with that, she does the same thing).

Does that make me straight?

Do the combined facts that I’m with a woman and attracted to men make me bisexual? What about the fact that my wife is the only woman I feel any attraction to?

I understand lesbian as ‘person who identifies as female, attracted to other females’ and bisexual as ‘a person attracted to both genders’.

My cousin called me Emma-sexual and it made me giggle. She may have a point.

I happened to fall in love with my best friend (and by some stroke of luck she fell in love with me too) and she just happened to be a woman.

I think you fall in love with a person not because of the parts between their legs, but because of the person you see shining through.

Not sure where this post is going, to be honest. I got sent a quiz by an organisation I follow and questions 1, 2 and 3 were age bracket, country you live in and what gender you identify with. Easy.

Then I got to question 4 and I felt like a failure because I don’t have an answer.

fail

Blah.